Bullying – Page 21 – Inside The Mind of a Psychiatrist

DO BULLIES HAUNT YOU? BY ART SMUKLER MD, AUTHOR & PSYCHIATRIST

All day in the office, I listen to people who have been abused, bullied and devalued. Battling evil and insensitivity in the world is a never ending battle.

The camp was idyllic, on a lake, cabins scattered among tall Pine trees, with dirt trails connecting everything to ball fields, the dining room and a recreation center. There were 12 waiters, 16-17-year-old boys, who were housed in the cabin closest to the dining room.

Rocko, the leader, was 6 feet tall with a physique that suited a Neanderthal. He was assigning jobs to the 11 boys who were all in various stages of making their beds and unpacking their trunks. The first day of camp was filled with learning dining room protocol, and that evening the boys were organizing their personal belongings.

“Hey douchbag, you’re not listening to me,” Rocko yelled to the slim boy at the far end of the cabin.

“I’m making my bed,” the boy said.

Seconds later Rocko was standing chest to chest with the slim boy. “I said I was talking to you! When I talk, you stop everything and listen.”

The boy stood still, a hard expression forming around his mouth and eyes.

“Are you deaf or just a dumb shit? Answer me!”

The slim boy stood very still, not moving in the slightest.

“Say something asshole.”

He chest butted the boy and put his face just inches from his face.

“If you don’t like it, do something about it,” Rocko spat out, his 200 pounds of muscle tensed for an onslaught.

The slim boy regained his balance and just stared back.

“Chicken shit! Do something or do exactly what I say.”

The boy just stood and stared, not moving a muscle, not blinking.

Rocko pushed the boy and walked away. “Chicken shit.”

It was 11 years before they spoke again. The slim boy, now a doctor and a resident in psychiatry, was moonlighting doing insurance exams for a friend, an insurance agent who had been a fellow waiter that same summer. The patient he was paid to examine was no other than Rocko, who was 30 pounds lighter, had pale skin and a dead look in his eyes.

The doctor asked all the appropriate questions and did a careful physical exam. Rocko had Hodgkins Lymphoma, a serious form of lymphatic cancer. The 2 men never referred to the decades-old altercation and never would. Rocko died a few years later.

The doctor experienced no joy in observing Rocko’s terminal illness or any sense that justice had been served. There was only the feeling he had failed himself by not handling the old situation with more courage.

Now, decades after Rocko’s death, there is finally closure for the slim boy who became a psychiatrist. Joe Belmont, the main character in his novel Chasing Backwards, doesn’t let people push him around, even if those people are the police or professional criminals.

It feels good having your character do what he needs to do.

It always feels good to not be afraid, whether in fiction or more importantly in real life.

Please feel free to leave any comments.

If you enjoyed reading, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy Dr. Smukler’s novels, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks on AMAZON, iBooks and http://artsmuklermd.com

How is it that so many really intelligent and talented guys still buy into all that I-want-to-be-part-of-the-group neediness? Instead of neediness, I wanted to use the word “crap”, but thought it wouldn’t be all that professional.

The sadistic quality of fraternity hazing has gone on for years. Older brothers torture the younger wannabes just like the older brothers were tortured when they were freshman. If you want to be part of the hallowed group, you’re obligated to put up with it.

Now we’re learning that the same thing goes on in the NFL. Being the most talented athletes in the country, and making millions of dollars, obviously doesn’t change that need to belong. The fact that “more mature” coaches and general managers buy into this culture is obviously part of the problem.

Maybe I’m in the minority calling it a problem, but even in college it seemed ludicrous to let older “brothers” have that kind of sadistic control. I knew I wasn’t cut out to join Kappa Alpha Ridiculous when three guys stormed my dorm room at 3am screaming, “You’re in! You’re going to be a Ridiculous! The fact that I had a chemistry exam the next morning never occurred to anyone except me.

Maybe I made a mistake? If only I had joined, I could have tortured other freshman and really felt like a big man.

Oh, but what about bonding? When the youngsters are tortured by the older, more mature guys the young guys come together as a group. Love, caring and solidarity are achieved. The theory is that the more brutal the torturing, the closer the new class becomes.

That’s the answer, brutality breeds love. WE ARE THE MARINES.

Welcome to a society based on a ridiculous premise.

If you enjoy reading, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy Dr. Smukler’s novels, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.