Category: Bullying

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDERS CAN BE WONDERFUL…OR NOT, by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Bullying, Psychiatry, Self Examination, Writing

People with Borderline Personality Disorders (BPD) are difficult – difficult to live with, difficult to get along with, and difficult to treat. Symptoms can include a history of unstable relationships, a fear of abandonment, impulsivity, suicidal or self-mutilating behavior, mood swings and anger management problems, among others.

As an author, the symptom that I think is so wonderful is their ability to first idealize and then to devalue. A woman meets a man, fawns all over him, is overtly seductive and sexual, tells him that he’s the most perfect guy she’s ever met, and proceeds to do everything in her power to show her love.

But, it doesn’t take long for Mr. Perfect to disappoint Ms. Borderline. He goes out with his buddies, watches a little too much basketball on TV, or stares a little too long at Angelina’s tattoo. Ms. Borderline goes bonkers. She becomes overtly depressed, explosively angry, and can’t stop telling Mr. Perfect that he’s a jerk. When Mr. Perfect can’t take it anymore and decides to end the relationship, Ms. Borderline becomes clingy, sexually seductive, and tells Mr. Perfect how sorry she is and that she really loves him.

So Mr. Perfect changes his mind and decides to stay. Two days later, he comes home ten minutes late, and Ms. Borderline again goes nuts. She rants, she threatens, and she’s verbally and even physically abusive. When he again decides to leave, she becomes suicidal and threatens that if he leaves, she’ll kill herself. Then Mr. Perfect feels sorry for her and decides to stay.

So what’s the wonderful part of this nightmare? USE MS. BORDERLINE AS A CHARACTER IN ONE OF YOUR NOVELS! She’ll make a wonderful, homicidal, jilted lover, like The Glenn Close character in Fatal Attraction, or a wonderful, difficult heroine, like Scarlett O’Hara in Gone with the Wind, or a hostile, bully father, like Bull Meecham in The Great Santini.

Since the heart of a novel is the tension and conflict that the author creates between his characters, Borderline Personalities are built for conflict. Their all-or-nothing, black or white, approach to life is the perfect way to drive another person crazy. Since you hopefully don’t have to live with one, have her, or him, torture your protagonist.

If you’re living with a person suffering from a BPD, stop being an enabler and seek therapy. If she refuses, make an independent decision to do what you need to do to have a better life.

Art Smukler MD is the author of Skin Dance, a mystery, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, and the blog, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist.

THE MIND OF THIS PSYCHIATRIST IS ONCE AGAIN SHOCKED, by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Bullying, Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view, Writing

Maybe I need some Prozac or Xanax? Better yet, maybe just a little more reason…

Once again, the “religious right” is marching against the right of employers and government to medically insure women who desire birth control. The catholic church doesn’t believe in unnatural means to prevent pregnancy; so it’s only logical for them to foist their beliefs on everyone else.

It almost ruined my morning coffee ( a wonderful pleasure plus caffeine is now supposed to prevent heart disease) to read how the religious right is enraged that pro-choice people are taking away THEIR rights. As I understand this, the pro-choicers are trying to stop THEM from having the right to jam their beliefs down everyone’s gullet. That’s just what we need, more control freaks trying to control people who believe in letting people choose for themselves.

Listen, I’m not holding it against Tom Cruise and John Travolta for believing that Xenu brought billions of people to earth in spacecraft resembling DC-8 airplanes. The Thetans (souls) then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living. Yep, the Thetans are still doing it today. I still enjoy Cruise’s and Travolta’s movies. See, I’m not trying to force them to believe the way I believe.

It’s not easy to think for yourself, to actually evaluate what our parents, peers and religious advocates have programmed us to believe. But, it’s doable. Actually evaluating what we’ve been force-fed from the age of 1 day, is brutally hard, but if you succeed, the relief to finally be free is enormous.

Please subscribe to Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist.