Losing someone you don’t personally know, and feeling sad about his passing, is not uncommon. Losing James Gandolfini, Tony Soprano, hurts. His character was a combination of tough and vulnerable, and James Gandolfini played it perfectly.
It was a treat on Sunday nights to settle back and go wherever his character led. No matter how viciously Tony behaved, it took just a few scenes for his self-conscious smile to erase his narcissistic, sociopathic behavior and for his needy, helpless self to emerge.
He was the epitome of what our unconscious fantasies are all about — a walking, talking ID ( the unconscious part of us that is filled with violence and sex). Who hasn’t wanted to bludgeon someone to death or have sex with a random attractive person?
Our dark and erotic fantasies were his reality.
Now there will never be a reprise of The Sopranos. We lost a fantasy stranger/friend, and it will not be possible to replace him.
Best wishes to his family and all his fans.
If you enjoy being Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, and Skin Dance, a mystery. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.
Art Smukler, MD - Books & Thoughts 
Gandolfini took the role of a mythological Italian-American and made money and a career on it… as the result of his series and success many Italian-American’s once again had to face a ethnically based prejudice for this type of thinking… I was even told in a School District Meeting lead by a woman who stated how Italians have such garbage mouths … she meant the “the Soprano’s” it was in Tacoma, WA… a generally liberal area… her role was to orient new, incoming teachers to the District. He did many of us a great disservice.
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