Author: artsmuklermd

Art Smukler, MD was born and raised in Philadelphia, went to college and medical school in Pennsylvania, and completed his psychiatric training at UCLA. He is a board-certified psychiatrist, specializing in the treatment of adults with a subspecialty in adolescents. As a member of the UCLA faculty, he ran an award-winning psychotherapy conference for psychiatric residents and received the coveted “Golden Ear” award. He has published in psychiatric journals, and won the award for excellence in creative writing at The Santa Barbara Writers Conference. Now a full-time author, he applies his deep understanding of the human psyche to the motivations of his fictional characters.

HOW CORE VALUES CAN BE DESTRUCTIVE, by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view

Recently, two things happened that made me rethink the state of my own values.

First the bad news. A new patient left me a message that he didn’t want to see me anymore because I was too judgmental. Me judgmental? How is that possible? Then I thought about it for a while and shook my head. I am pretty judgmental about religion. My ex-patient had a good point. Who’d want to spend his time and money being judged? Parents and family can do that free of charge.

Now the good news. I commented in an on-line fiction group that when someone states what they believe, it is common courtesy to accept his or her belief. Trying over and over to push your belief, whether right or wrong, borders on abuse. Each of us has the right to our personal standards and ethics. Whether it’s abortion rights, gun control, immigration, or dancing in a strip bar, the right to a personal belief is essential. Often disagreements are fun and interesting. I think that trying to overwhelm someone with your belief, when they have clearly stated that they had enough, is not pleasant, helpful or respectful.

One writer commented;

Hear! Hear, Art. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
I lead an adult bible discussion group on Sunday mornings at First United Methodist Church in downtown Miami FL. Your standards, Art, so ably expressed, are the very essence of our group.
My point is, if a religious discussion group can hold to Art’s guidelines, why not a sophisticated group like writers?

So there you have it. Passion and intense feelings often overwhelm logical thinking and expression. We may cross boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed, or if crossed, should be done as if treading on fragile explosives.

Insulting or being insensitive to someone’s core beliefs will NOT get them to change or respect your position. So what can? Education, life experience, and maybe really caring about the person with whom you have the disagreement.

When it comes to a successful human interaction, being right is often inconsequential.

Art Smukler MD is the author of Skin Dance, a mystery, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, and the blog, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist.

WHY DO MEN REALLY GO TO STRIP BARS? by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view, Writing

I’m talking about the regulars, the guys who get hooked and blow hundreds and hundreds and maybe thousands of dollars.

It might start off innocently enough. A group of guys go out for a night of bonding and laughs and wind up at a strip club. For most, it’s a few drinks, a bit of ogling, spending more money than predicted, and there it ends.

For some, it’s the beginning of an addiction.

In Skin Dance, a mystery, the main character Jake Robb, a psychiatrist, winds up talking to Candy, one of the dancers.

“Hi Honey,” an attractive young woman said, standing just inches from Jake, her breasts right in his face. She was dressed in black-silk shorts and a skimpy black-silk bra. Her hair was a mass of dark tangles and curls hanging halfway down her back. “I’m Candy. What can I get you to drink?” The researchers catalogued this type of behavior as counterfeiting intimacy, Jake remembered with a sigh. When it was actually happening it didn’t feel at all like it was counterfeit. Candy’s perfume floated around him, an aromatic web that under most circumstances would be difficult to resist.

Strip bars offer visual candy, rocking sound systems, a full bar, and pseudo-sex (lap dances). Any of these might be attractive, but are they worth investing hundreds of hours and lots of money?

When you’re in love, anything is possible. The addict watches the love of his life up on stage, bumping and grinding and playing up to anyone silly enough to drape money over the brass rail, but still believes, with all his heart, that what she really wants is him.

The addict is empty and hungry for love. Candy capitalizes on that need and instinctively knows just how to work her way into the heart and wallet of this desperate, lonely character.

One day when this fantasy ends, it will be with a dose of emptiness, recrimination, and possibly the knowledge that searching for love in a strip bar is doomed.

Art Smukler MD is the author of Skin Dance, a mystery, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, and the blog, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist.