Category: World events, a psychological view

LANCE ARMSTRONG & REPENTANCE, A PSYCHIATRIST’S TAKE ON IT, by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view, Writing

So what happens when someone lies for years about something?

Duh. We don’t trust that person again.

Mistrust forever?

Maybe…

In a psychiatrist’s office, a common occurrence is marital infidelity. Often, that leads to divorce. It’s tough to believe someone who has looked you square in the eyes (or even not so square) and lied.

Now Lance wants to compete in triathlons, the wayward spouse wants to keep his home and possessions intact, the manipulative mortgage-loan banker wants to keep his job and not go to prison.

Some actions are deal breakers. How can you trust a person’s words if his actions were blatantly misleading?

So what about Lance Armstrong? What about your husband? What about our nation’s mortgage bankers?

My feeling is that a person who is a good liar continues to have that talent. If he wants to deceive me or you, there’s no reason he can’t succeed. Trust is a combination of what he says and how he acts. Saying “sorry” is fine, but what does it really mean? How does he really make amends? Is there a consistency to the apology?

It can take a lot of time to decide whether a liar has become a reformed liar. Whether you want to go through the process and give a liar another chance is your choice.

Are there any other issues you want to talk about before our session ends?

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Author of Chasing Backwards, a psychological mystery, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, and Skin Dance, a mystery

THE FISCAL CLIFF, DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES, AND SUCCESS? by Art Smukler, author and psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Raising Children, World events, a psychological view

Traveling through Hong Kong and Thailand has been an enlightening experience. Fellow travelers from Australia, England, Germany and New Zealand all made the same comment, “What’s the matter? Why can’t your elected officials make a decision and compromise?”

A good question! We are like a dysfunctional family except with one “minor” difference. The whole world gets to observe our dirty linen and the whole world is affected by the decisions that our petty, stubborn ELECTED officials make or don’t make. Stubborn and self-serving is not unusul, but this process has been horrifying.

It reminds me of the time that the world was mesmerized as President Bill Clinton denied he had sex with Monica Lewinsky and impeachment proceedings began. It was obvious what happened. The proof was on the blue dress, but still the ludicrous saga went on.

Families are complicated systems. A pointed look that a wife gives her husband, inconsequential to observers, can have enormous meaning to the two spouses. So it goes in the Senate and The House. The nuances in politics are just reflections of what goes on in all our lives except that what they decide can change the world. Thanks to Joe Biden(Dem) and Mitch McConnell(Rep) a compromise seems possible.

I believe in family and in the USA. I’m also a realist and know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The Senate and The House don’t have the luxury of divorce. Grow up, compromise and do what you were elected to do in a more mature and productive manner. Lead by example, not by party pressure. The American people didn’t marry you. We can and will divorce you if you don’t act like a parent and a leader should act.

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