CAN A SIX YEAR OLD CHOOSE HIS OWN DESTINY? by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

“Who’s the boss?” six-year-old Jason asked me, as he watched waiters and patrons milling about the busy Italian restaurant.

Across the room, a man dressed in a suit and tie was writing in a notebook and directing a waiter to clean and set up a table that was just vacated. After a few moments, I got his attention and he came over to our table.

 “Jason has a question,” I said. “Do you have a moment to answer it?”

“Sure. What is it Jason?”

Jason hesitated, looked at me, then back at the man. “Are you the boss?” he asked, a very serious expression on his face.

“I am the boss,” the man said with a smile.

Jason nodded. “How come you don’t work as hard as everyone else?”

The boss laughed and shot me a smile. “No one ever asked me that question before… Well, I work hard, but as you can see, it’s a different kind of work. My work is to tell everyone else what to do.”

Jason nodded again. “Do you make more money than everyone else?”

An even bigger smile stretched across the boss’s face. “I do make more money. That’s why you have to work hard in school; so one day you can be the boss.”

Jason nodded, his little brow furrowed, as he brushed his hand across his short blond hair.

“Thank you very much for spending time with us,” I said.

“Thank you,” Jason said.

“You’re welcome,” the boss said, and returned to his duties.

We each took a bite of pizza and sips of our drinks. Then Jason looked at me, and with utter sincerity said, “When I get big, I want to be the boss.”

“What kind of boss?”

“The boss of Doctors.”

Check back in twenty years to see what happens…

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A PSYCHIATRIST’S ADVICE ON HOW TO BE HEALTHY, HAPPY & WISE ON MOTHER’S DAY by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

My advice is one of those simple clichés that takes a lifetime to learn and probably on our deathbed we’ll still be in the process of trying to do it right.

BE AUTHENTIC.

It’s that simple and that complicated. Often we know what we feel and think, but rather than respond authentically we ignore our feelings and act with proper political correctness. Okay, let’s think about mothers, since tomorrow is their day. Most of us have issues with the person that gave us life, but how many of us actually sit down and tell her what we’re really thinking?

“It’ll just cause a fight. She’ll never understand. I’ll hurt her feelings. It isn’t worth it.”

And maybe all those reasons are true. But, what is the result of holding back the truth and being a phony? The result is that you both survive whatever experience you’re having, but neither of you feels fulfilled or appreciated. Taking a risk and being a real person can of course work both ways. It can lead to much more fulfillment; or on the other hand a really bad experience.

One thing that is almost always true is that if you at least risk being authentic, you’ll feel a lot better about yourself. For the rest of your life, you’ll know that you at least tried. Not carrying the burden of holding in all those negative feelings can help you be healthier and happier.

Also, being an honest observer of the human condition can actually lead to wisdom, whether it’s with your mother, your friends, your spouse or fellow workers.

One more thing! Pick your battles carefully and be tactful.

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