Tag: Inside the mind of a psychiatrist

I’M NOT GOING DOWN EASY, by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view

It was one if those cocktail parties where half a dozen men stood together talking about sports and politics, and the spouses were congregated on the other side of the room talking about Nietzsche or Bloomingdales or maybe even the men. One of the guys said,

 “We’re moving. Just sold our place and have an accepted offer on a new place.”

“Downsizing?” one guy said, taking a sip of Cabernet.

“Nah. Actually the new house is bigger.”

“Bigger? Why? You’re 70 aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“So why bigger?

“Why not?”

“You have a lot of money?”

“Hardly.”

“But aren’t you preparing for retirement? What if you get sick?”

“What if I don’t get sick and live 25 years? I don’t want to go down easy. I want to live, really live.”

“Oh,” the other guy said with a contemplative expression on his lined face.”

Shouldn’t we all live life to the fullest and have the right to make our own rules?

Wasn’t it Ibsen who said, ‘the majority is always wrong’. It’s the people who come up with ideas that no one else ever thought of that are often the most successful. I’m talking not only about financial success, but more importantly, emotional happiness.

Getting older doesn’t mean that you’re relegated to the trash heap. It just means that you’re getting older. There’s a real opportunity to put whatever wisdom you’ve accumulated into action.

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WHY ARE PENN STATE AND BILL O’BRIEN CHANGING THOUSANDS OF LIVES? By Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Childhood Trauma, Penn State, Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view

The vision of the Sandusky horror is almost too much to fathom — a sexual predator allowed access to a hallowed sports facility because the men in power just couldn’t and wouldn’t systematically investigate one of their own. Disgrace to Joe Paterno, football sanctions, a mass exodus of players to other teams, and a university disrespected and threatened with a loss of accreditation, was accepted as the righteous result of their transgression.

Enter the beleaguered team and Bill O’Brien, the new coach, to start the season. The resounding “We Are Penn State” was down to a muffled embarrassed whimper. Then the team lost its first two games and it appeared that the humiliation and devalued attitude was here to stay.

Week three, and the team dumps gallons of Gatorade on O’Brien’s head after their first win. Weeks four and five and six, they win again and again and AGAIN. Is the Phoenix finally dragging itself out of the ashes of shower rooms and sexual perversity?

It’s fun and wonderful to win, but in this case, it’s not just winning a football game, it’s winning the battle against an infectious stigma that made a great majority of Penn Staters feel humiliated and devalued by what their elders did over a decade ago. I wonder how many PSU Ts and sweatshirts stayed hidden in closets?

Is this any different than what so many of us experienced at the hands of our own parents? Insensitivity, violence, sexual abuse and flat-out stupidity can obviously influence an entire life. The results of poor parenting —  depression, anxiety, and low self-esteem, are rampant in psychiatric offices. Helping a patient unravel how the past has unduly influenced his view of himself is often very helpful.

Like the changes happening at Penn State, we can also change. We don’t have to continue to feel trapped or controlled or humiliated by what our parents did or didn’t do. It’s wonderful to have a new hero like Bill O’Brien, but let’s keep in mind what happened with our old hero, Joe Paterno. He was simply a human being with his own set of limitations.

We need to embrace the hero inside each of us, the part that doesn’t follow the herd and does the right thing, whatever it takes.

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