Category: Raising Children

THE FISCAL CLIFF, DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILIES, AND SUCCESS? by Art Smukler, author and psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Raising Children, World events, a psychological view

Traveling through Hong Kong and Thailand has been an enlightening experience. Fellow travelers from Australia, England, Germany and New Zealand all made the same comment, “What’s the matter? Why can’t your elected officials make a decision and compromise?”

A good question! We are like a dysfunctional family except with one “minor” difference. The whole world gets to observe our dirty linen and the whole world is affected by the decisions that our petty, stubborn ELECTED officials make or don’t make. Stubborn and self-serving is not unusul, but this process has been horrifying.

It reminds me of the time that the world was mesmerized as President Bill Clinton denied he had sex with Monica Lewinsky and impeachment proceedings began. It was obvious what happened. The proof was on the blue dress, but still the ludicrous saga went on.

Families are complicated systems. A pointed look that a wife gives her husband, inconsequential to observers, can have enormous meaning to the two spouses. So it goes in the Senate and The House. The nuances in politics are just reflections of what goes on in all our lives except that what they decide can change the world. Thanks to Joe Biden(Dem) and Mitch McConnell(Rep) a compromise seems possible.

I believe in family and in the USA. I’m also a realist and know that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The Senate and The House don’t have the luxury of divorce. Grow up, compromise and do what you were elected to do in a more mature and productive manner. Lead by example, not by party pressure. The American people didn’t marry you. We can and will divorce you if you don’t act like a parent and a leader should act.

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WHAT DOES A PSYCHIATRIST SAY TO PENN STATE PLACE KICKER SAM FICKEN, WHO MISSED 4 FIELD GOALS? by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

by artsmuklermd, posted in Childhood Trauma, Penn State, Psychiatry, Raising Children, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view

Sam Ficken missed 4 field goal attempts and had an extra-point kick blocked in Penn State’s game against Virginia. What would I say to this young  freshman?

There’s another game next week! Really, Sam, it’s just a game. Think of all the energy and power we gave Joe Paterno, and where did that lead? This is an opportunity to show that this isn’t what you are all about.

Because others twist and attribute what we do or don’t do to suit their own needs, doesn’t mean we have to buy into it. I know it would have been easier and certainly more fun to be the hero. Well, you weren’t, but how many kids get a chance to play for a Big Ten team as a freshman? Not many!

Just getting out there, in front of thousands of screaming fans, even though you were frozen inside, was terrific. I hope Coach O’Brien gives you another chance. No-matter what happens, have courage and do your best. That’s how you’ll honor yourself. As we have learned, just winning football games is not what it’s all about. It’s about how we handle winning and losing and how we behave as human beings who care about other human beings that really counts.

Sam, don’t ever give up! And that goes for all of us…

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