WOMEN. THEY ARE A COMPLETE MYSTERY, by Art Smukler, author

Stephen Hawking, a well-known, brilliant physicist, was interviewed by New Scientist magazine. When they asked the wheelchair bound, 70 year-old scientist what he thinks about most, he answered —

Women. They are a complete mystery.

Here’s a guy who writes books about how the universe began, and he’s stumped by a mere woman. Well Stephen, join the group. Most men are in the same quandary. So why are women so perplexing?

We’re usually physically stronger. We usually have more political power. Bias has kept women weaker in the marketplace. We can score touchdowns and they’re relegated to jumping around in skimpy outfits on the sidelines cheering for Brawny Bill, who just scored on an off-center, power-right play. They don’t even know what an off-center, power-right play means, nor do they care. So why do most of us with the little y gene lust to have one of them a part of our lives?

Guys, we can’t fight Mother Nature (note Mother not Father). They gave birth to us and we’re programmed to desperately desire to explore where we came from. Stephen, I hope you’re not insulted that I’m being so familiar, but the answer to the universe is lying right next to us in bed. Without that answer being so close, most men would spend an inordinate about of time and money looking for a replacement, often a younger and more compliant edition. Then after we have procured her, 50% of us get disappointed, divorced, and start the search all over again.

As my muse once said during a stressful time, How ’bout a piece of gingerbread cake? Maybe that’s the answer to the universe? Wait, isn’t gingerbread cake just a replacement for mother’s milk? Maybe we just need our mothers, but someone so disguised in Spandex and all the right curves that we can’t recognize her?

Maybe the universe works just fine keeping women a mystery…

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22 Responses to WOMEN. THEY ARE A COMPLETE MYSTERY, by Art Smukler, author

  1. Linda says:

    I don’t know why you are saying that. Seems you do very well with me, but I’m just your wife!

    Like

  2. … sigh … have you ever considered that it is not that women are a mystery … it is that guys are clueless?

    Like

  3. Jann Feldman says:

    Dear Art –
    I know LOTS of women who do not fall into the descriptions you gave – women who know and understand football,who don’t care about shopping and the latest fashions, who make as much money as their male colleagues – who support their families when husbands are unable to – point of reference – I read that in their lifetimes, 85% of women are the total support of their families at one time or another. I also know lots of women who would never, ever wear Laker Girl outfits. What about women who serve in the military and fight for our freedoms. Women are not really a mystery. They are a bit more multi dimensional that many men. Read almost anything by John F Gray PhD. He has written some pretty important books on the differences between men and women. Happy New Year!

    Like

    • artsmuklermd says:

      Hi Jann; Thank you for your very appropriate and accurate comment. I agree 100%. My somewhat tongue-in-cheek portrayal was a take-off on what Stephen Hawking said, and I just began a riff on the more mystical male-female relationship. As you know, I am surrounded by strong, smart, healthy women and I wouldn’t want it any other way. Thanks again, Art

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  4. Gill, kudos. Part of the answer is indeed that men need to figure out how to communicate (honestly) with women. However, it’s not just the guys that have to figure women out; the opposite is also true and I would be remiss if I did not point this out.

    We women (I know, I’m generalizing) are way too comfortable with hoping, wishing and praying that men would be able to better understand us. We need them to “get” us. However, we forget that it’s a two-way street. Women need to figure out how to get their point across to men effectively – and that means speaking their language. We need to “get” them, too.

    Women will *always* be a mystery – that’s what we’re for! But, we don’t have to live our lives in perpetual confusion and guessing whether our partners understand us. We can make that happen.

    Just my dos centavos…

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    • Gill says:

      Couldn’t agree more, there are a lot of women who think it’s all down to men and that they should do all the work re communicating, they don’t realise that they have to do their bit as well.

      As a young girl I was a tom boy and spent most of my time with my older brother and his mates, I’ve always got on with men because I don’t ‘play games’ such as saying one thing and meaning another… can’t see the point to it at all. I only have a couple of close female friends who are the same.
      Women also play these ‘games’ with each other, I have a tendency to let them get on with it and not get involved… especially the ‘talking about people behind their back and slagging them off then being best buddies when they are with them. A lot of it comes down to low self-esteem, the same with the ‘don’t get me anything I’m not worth it’ then getting upset because you didn’t get anything and so proved they were right, they weren’t worth it.

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  5. Neal Koss says:

    Actually, I guess that’s Gill….Art is still safe…for now!!!

    Like

  6. zencherry says:

    Ah but isn’t this just the Pandora Box for men? Do you REALLY want to solve that mystery or is it precisely this that keeps you coming back for more?

    I will solve this mystery in just one word. If you’re brave enough, keep reading. All women really want is for you to:

    Communicate. (Okay let’s add an adverb: Honestly)

    Do that without comments that are trying to solve everything…commiserate for a change and let venting flow freely and they’re happy. Easy stuff.

    And btw? Your guard and tackle on a power right need to stay in their zone if the play is going to come off. That’s assuming there’s no stunts on the snap too. Still, is effective for shutting down a defensive end. 😉

    Like

    • artsmuklermd says:

      Thank you. Wonderful advice! The problem gets a little more interesting when women don’t say exactly what THEY mean. Example: “I really don’t want you to get me anything for my birthday.” So, Mr. Great Listener follows the advice. It’s not a pretty situation. Art

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      • Gill says:

        That’s because women don’t just communicate with words… there are layers and layers of meaning within a sentence and you have to look and listen, what was her facial expression… or possibly… how was she holding the knife! To most women communication is an art form which some/most men are never going to be able to see.
        In your defense however, some women are just down right annoying.

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      • Neal Koss says:

        Art, you are really in the soup, now!!! 🙂

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      • zencherry says:

        (Nods) Oh…the passive-aggressive types. These are the ones I generally smack down verbally. They’re out there and are usually related to my mother. Best thing to do w/that is to go ahead and not get the birthday present and give them a dose of their own medicine. Tell them you were just trying to please them, they hurt your feelings, and you had magnificent things planned but called it off due to their insistence. Promise ya, it’ll never happen again after that. 😉

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  7. Neal Koss says:

    Women remind me of Gödel’s Theorem, which states (in simple terms), “In any complete mathematical system, there is at least one theorem that is unprovable, and if that theorem is accepted as a postulate, there is always one more!!” That’s women….just when you think you understand them, something else pops up that confirms their enigmatic existence!! 🙂

    Like

  8. Rob Nelson says:

    Female Brain by Dr. Louann Brizendine really helped me understand the amazing differences. Give it a spin if you have a mother, daughter wife or girl friend!

    http://www.amazon.com/Female-Brain-Louann-Brizendine/dp/0767920104/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1325805076&sr=1-1

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  9. Gill says:

    Well this is nigh on impossible to comment on without getting someone’s back up lol

    What really irks men is that women understand them far better than they understand us and they don’t know how we do it 🙂 What can I say, it’s either a natural talent or magic. You try and work it out, I’m not telling. But maybe if you noticed what was going on a bit more you’d get the hang of it!

    Like

    • artsmuklermd says:

      If you told, you’d ruin the magic! On the other hand, how much would you charge for the secret?

      Like

      • Gill says:

        Maybe it’s all down to how ‘man’ learnt to communicate. Men were hunting so didn’t want to make much noise, so talk was kept to a minimum. Women were gathering, looking after the kids, dusting the cave, whatever…. they had to keep predators away so make as much noise as possible in a big group, everyone chats, screams, laughs and stays safe. Also men communicate without having to look at each other. Women, to get as much meaning and as many nuances as possible, talk with their hands, face, posture.
        If you watch a woman talking to a baby you can see the exaggerated/simplified form of this… as they get older we tone it down.

        Like

  10. Dale says:

    Hi Art:
    I enjoy reading your various blogs/commentary. Women are a mystery and I am sure
    I’ll have taken the exit ramp having never solved it. Oh well….
    Dale

    Like

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