Tag: Joe Paterno

I KNOW WHAT HEROES ARE MADE OF… by Art Smukler MD

by artsmuklermd, posted in Penn State, Psychiatry, Raising Children, Self Examination, Uncle Bill's Place, World events, a psychological view

In horrific detail, we learned from the Joe Paterno nightmare that having the most victories in college football can become meaningless. The McCourts taught us that tons of money and greed are just wrong. Donald Trump made it clear that power and arrogance may sell TV spots, but it’s not a style we wish to emulate.

Victories, money and power are all interesting, but for me there is a much simpler way to bring value to the world.

Listen.

Really hear what a person is saying. Respond to his concerns. Don’t spend your time while he’s talking formulating your response; so your story tops his story. If you really listen, the person you’re hearing feels better about himself, feels better about you, and wants to be your friend. You become special and he feels special.

Imagine what it’s like for a child to be heard, for a parent or aunt or uncle to crouch down to his level and take the time to understand what his concern might be. The reassurance that comes from being appreciated and understood can obviate the need for hundreds of victories, greed and power. It creates a sense of inner peace and satisfaction.

I had an uncle who really listened. He wore shapeless turtleneck sweaters and baggy corduroy pants, decided at the age of fifty to become a psychologist, and went out of his way to appreciate the wisdom of the person he was listening to.

I know what heroes are made of…

GOODBYE, JOE PATERNO; THE MYTH OF A HERO, by Art Smukler MD

by artsmuklermd, posted in Penn State, Psychiatry, Self Examination, World events, a psychological view

It was a strange morning.

A good friend posted on my Facebook wall, “Is Joe Paterno still your hero?”

How can someone be my hero when he allowed a sexual predator to go free?

Then I dressed for my morning workout with a blue Penn State T-shirt and pulled a plain gray sweatshirt over it. The thought crossed my mind that I could still wear the Penn State T-shirt because it was hidden by my sweatshirt. That made me sad and then very angry. “JoePa, why did you do this to me?” Instinctively personalizing the whole sordid story.

To look up to someone older and wiser is human nature. It starts when we’re babies and our parents are our omnipotent heroes. We continue this need, but shift the power to teachers, sports figures or presidents. Some even shift it to a god — an all powerful presence. In fact, most of the world takes great comfort in religion.

Or; some of us chose JoePa. But whoever we chose, at some point he will most certainly fail us. Human beings and gods can’t control everything. Perfection doesn’t exist.

Todd Blackledge, a former Penn State quarterback and now an ESPN college football analyst described it well. He said he still loved Paterno and considered him a mentor.

But I also know that all humans are frail. All humans are weak in moments. And you can’t have your trust totally in other human beings, because they’ll let you down. It’s not just privilege that comes with authority, it’s also accountability and responsibility… Someone needed to go to the police.

Goodbye, JoePa. I’m going to miss you and miss my fantasy.