OTHER THAN ANATOMY, ARE MEN AND WOMEN REALLY DIFFERENT? by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

Last week at a dinner party, a friend asked what jobs we had when we were in high school and college. One woman, a psychotherapist, related that she was a sales girl in a department store.

“I loved that job,” she said, a smile lighting up her pretty features. “I’ve always had an interest in fashion; so when I was assigned to the clothing department it was a treat.” She laughed. “But in my experience, waiting on women was a lot different from waiting on men.”

“How?” One of the men at the table asked.

Interestingly, all the women at the table smiled, like they all ready knew what to expect.

“Well, let’s say a woman came in looking for a sweater. She had dozens of questions regarding color, weight, texture, type of wool, design features… Finally, after a major discussion on changing styles, that might challenge Yves St. Laurent, she’d sigh and say, ‘I’ll think about it’.

“Men on the other hand were a riot. One nice looking guy, maybe forty, came in and said, ‘I’d like a sweater’.

“What kind?”

“A sweater.”

“Wool? Cotton? Ribbed? Cashmere? Light? Heavy? Color? What’s it for? A special event?”

“I don’t know. What do you think?”

“Let me show you some sweaters,” I said, and led him to a table filled with dozens of winter sweaters. He looked at the first pile, picked up a sweater, unfolded it, held it up to his chest and nodded. “This will be great. Thanks. I appreciate your help.”

“As I was writing up the sale, he said, ‘What do ya think about the Eagles chances against the Forty-Niners?’

“Huh”, I said.

“You know, the Eagles?”

“The baseball team?”

“He stared at me for a few moments and then with a smile said, ‘The sweater is really nice, thanks’.”

“Thank you!” I said, and waved goodbye.

If you enjoy being Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, and Skin Dance, a mystery. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.

WHY IS CHANGE SO HARD? by Art Smukler, author & psychiatrist

The unknown can be frightening.

Did you ever try and have a logical discussion with a true religious believer? Try it a few times and you’ll probably never try again. It gets nowhere. To actually contemplate that we know nothing about the existence or non-existence of god is scary. It’s easier and less traumatic to accept the literal translation of what’s in the Bible or Koran.

It took a long time to accept that the world wasn’t flat or that there were microscopic bacteria that caused infection or that by using the concept of Bernoulli’s principle thousands of pounds of steel could be made to fly carrying hundreds of passengers all around the world, or that something called the Internet would replace beating on drums to send messages to fellow humans.

We grew up in homes where our parents taught us what was right and what was wrong. What if they were wrong? Why continue to promulgate the nonsense that they taught us?

Teenagers rebel — hair, tats, language, music… But then they grow up and the need to question fades.

But there IS hope. Our society is filled with couples of mixed race who fell in love and decided it was okay. The Supreme Court decided that gay and lesbian marriages are just as valid as heterosexual marriages. Our president, a black man, was elected TWICE.

Change may be hard, but it is obviously possible. We see our fellow humans in the Middle East struggle against religious fanatics who KNOW they are right because it is written in the Koran. Can you believe that a moderate was elected in Iran!

Change makes us uncomfortable, but by trying new things and getting used to them, we are preparing for future change and the chance that real logic can be a dominating force instead of prejudice and defensiveness.

If you enjoy being Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy, The Man with a Microphone in his Ear, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, and Skin Dance, a mystery. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.