World events, a psychological view – Page 52 – Inside The Mind of a Psychiatrist

Being a famous, author & psychiatrist (well maybe not famous, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad), I decided to do a non-double-blind study on the incidence of facial hair. I ordered a grande half-cafe and a blueberry scone and parked myself in a comfortable chair. Being a careful researcher, I ordered the half-cafe so I wouldn’t be too amped up, and the scone so I wouldn’t pass out from malnutrition.

Using all my observational, psychiatric skills, I sipped my coffee, munched on the scone, and counted. This erudite study, which lasted about 45 minutes, showed that 85 out of 100 had some form of facial hair. There was one woman with a heavy shadow above her lip, but in the end, I decided not to include women.

So why are men so into hirsuitism? There was a time when only hippies, long-in-the-tooth poets, and backwoods Appalachian moonshine distillers had facial hair, but according to my sophisticated research, times have definitely changed.

Hair makes you look cool. If Brad Pitt and Mark Wahlberg are examples, it’s just a matter of time before the ladies will begin to pound down your door.

Who wants to shave every morning? Gillette makes a fortune and men waste hundreds of hours during their lifetime trying to get every little bit of stubble erased from their faces.

Country-Western music is definitely the in-thing. Is there a respectable male singer, other than the late Johnny Cash, who doesn’t have facial hair?

I tossed my cup in the trash and went home, a wiser man.

Then, I looked in the mirror. I had a stubble beard! Move over Mark! I’m on my way to Hollywood.

Dr. Art Smukler is the award winning writer of Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.

How is it that so many really intelligent and talented guys still buy into all that I-want-to-be-part-of-the-group neediness? Instead of neediness, I wanted to use the word “crap”, but thought it wouldn’t be all that professional.

The sadistic quality of fraternity hazing has gone on for years. Older brothers torture the younger wannabes just like the older brothers were tortured when they were freshman. If you want to be part of the hallowed group, you’re obligated to put up with it.

Now we’re learning that the same thing goes on in the NFL. Being the most talented athletes in the country, and making millions of dollars, obviously doesn’t change that need to belong. The fact that “more mature” coaches and general managers buy into this culture is obviously part of the problem.

Maybe I’m in the minority calling it a problem, but even in college it seemed ludicrous to let older “brothers” have that kind of sadistic control. I knew I wasn’t cut out to join Kappa Alpha Ridiculous when three guys stormed my dorm room at 3am screaming, “You’re in! You’re going to be a Ridiculous! The fact that I had a chemistry exam the next morning never occurred to anyone except me.

Maybe I made a mistake? If only I had joined, I could have tortured other freshman and really felt like a big man.

Oh, but what about bonding? When the youngsters are tortured by the older, more mature guys the young guys come together as a group. Love, caring and solidarity are achieved. The theory is that the more brutal the torturing, the closer the new class becomes.

That’s the answer, brutality breeds love. WE ARE THE MARINES.

Welcome to a society based on a ridiculous premise.

If you enjoy reading, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy Dr. Smukler’s novels, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.