Self Examination – Page 81 – Inside The Mind of a Psychiatrist

Being a famous, author & psychiatrist (well maybe not famous, but 2 out of 3 isn’t bad), I decided to do a non-double-blind study on the incidence of facial hair. I ordered a grande half-cafe and a blueberry scone and parked myself in a comfortable chair. Being a careful researcher, I ordered the half-cafe so I wouldn’t be too amped up, and the scone so I wouldn’t pass out from malnutrition.

Using all my observational, psychiatric skills, I sipped my coffee, munched on the scone, and counted. This erudite study, which lasted about 45 minutes, showed that 85 out of 100 had some form of facial hair. There was one woman with a heavy shadow above her lip, but in the end, I decided not to include women.

So why are men so into hirsuitism? There was a time when only hippies, long-in-the-tooth poets, and backwoods Appalachian moonshine distillers had facial hair, but according to my sophisticated research, times have definitely changed.

Hair makes you look cool. If Brad Pitt and Mark Wahlberg are examples, it’s just a matter of time before the ladies will begin to pound down your door.

Who wants to shave every morning? Gillette makes a fortune and men waste hundreds of hours during their lifetime trying to get every little bit of stubble erased from their faces.

Country-Western music is definitely the in-thing. Is there a respectable male singer, other than the late Johnny Cash, who doesn’t have facial hair?

I tossed my cup in the trash and went home, a wiser man.

Then, I looked in the mirror. I had a stubble beard! Move over Mark! I’m on my way to Hollywood.

Dr. Art Smukler is the award winning writer of Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks.

DO BULLIES HAUNT YOU? BY ART SMUKLER MD, AUTHOR & PSYCHIATRIST

All day in the office, I listen to people who have been abused, bullied and devalued. Battling evil and insensitivity in the world is a never ending battle.

The camp was idyllic, on a lake, cabins scattered among tall Pine trees, with dirt trails connecting everything to ball fields, the dining room and a recreation center. There were 12 waiters, 16-17-year-old boys, who were housed in the cabin closest to the dining room.

Rocko, the leader, was 6 feet tall with a physique that suited a Neanderthal. He was assigning jobs to the 11 boys who were all in various stages of making their beds and unpacking their trunks. The first day of camp was filled with learning dining room protocol, and that evening the boys were organizing their personal belongings.

“Hey douchbag, you’re not listening to me,” Rocko yelled to the slim boy at the far end of the cabin.

“I’m making my bed,” the boy said.

Seconds later Rocko was standing chest to chest with the slim boy. “I said I was talking to you! When I talk, you stop everything and listen.”

The boy stood still, a hard expression forming around his mouth and eyes.

“Are you deaf or just a dumb shit? Answer me!”

The slim boy stood very still, not moving in the slightest.

“Say something asshole.”

He chest butted the boy and put his face just inches from his face.

“If you don’t like it, do something about it,” Rocko spat out, his 200 pounds of muscle tensed for an onslaught.

The slim boy regained his balance and just stared back.

“Chicken shit! Do something or do exactly what I say.”

The boy just stood and stared, not moving a muscle, not blinking.

Rocko pushed the boy and walked away. “Chicken shit.”

It was 11 years before they spoke again. The slim boy, now a doctor and a resident in psychiatry, was moonlighting doing insurance exams for a friend, an insurance agent who had been a fellow waiter that same summer. The patient he was paid to examine was no other than Rocko, who was 30 pounds lighter, had pale skin and a dead look in his eyes.

The doctor asked all the appropriate questions and did a careful physical exam. Rocko had Hodgkins Lymphoma, a serious form of lymphatic cancer. The 2 men never referred to the decades-old altercation and never would. Rocko died a few years later.

The doctor experienced no joy in observing Rocko’s terminal illness or any sense that justice had been served. There was only the feeling he had failed himself by not handling the old situation with more courage.

Now, decades after Rocko’s death, there is finally closure for the slim boy who became a psychiatrist. Joe Belmont, the main character in his novel Chasing Backwards, doesn’t let people push him around, even if those people are the police or professional criminals.

It feels good having your character do what he needs to do.

It always feels good to not be afraid, whether in fiction or more importantly in real life.

Please feel free to leave any comments.

If you enjoyed reading, Inside the Mind of a Psychiatrist, you might also enjoy Dr. Smukler’s novels, Chasing Backwards, a psychological murder mystery, Skin Dance, a mystery, and The Man with a Microphone in his Ear. All are available as paperbacks and eBooks on AMAZON, iBooks and http://artsmuklermd.com