How far can you run from your own mind? – Page 7 – Inside The Mind of a Psychiatrist

Last night, we attended a high school drama cafe night — students singing, playing guitars, folk music, rock and roll, jazz etc. What blew me away was the combination of energy, sincerity, off the charts costumes (their normal outfits), and the absolute desire to do their best in front of hundreds of people.

I loved it. Being in touch with the teenage present, catapulted me back to my past and the dreams I had back then.

It takes courage to change and grow. We did it once when we were kids and there’s no reason we can’t just pick up where we left off decades ago and continue the process.

Chasing Backwards into our past doesn’t have to be a trip to the psychoanalyst. It can simply be taking the risk of opening our senses. Hearing the music of our youth, smelling and tasting the foods that we grew up with, seeing pictures of ourselves, our families, and friends back in high school, and having the courage to feel it.

Because we’re part of “the establishment” doesn’t mean that we have to be rigid and unable to learn and grow. We did it once back-in-the-day, and it’s exciting to do it again.

What’s it like for you to chase your past?

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Often, childhood isn’t all that dramatic. No beatings, no sexual abuse, and no drunken binges with screaming and knife throwing. It’s quietly and confusingly more like a Chinese water torture — an intermittant trickle of devaluing words, missed chances to validate and unrecognized pleas for help. To others your life may look great, but not to you. Your pain is palpable, even though the cause is subtle and invisible.

You suspect that something’s wrong, but just can’t figure it out. You don’t know why you don’t love your parents like you’re supposed to. You don’t know why you’re miserable.

“What’s wrong with me?” you think. “Everyone else likes them. I’m a terrible person to feel this way.”

Then in 7th grade or 8th grade or college, you get depressed. You think, maybe I just need some Prozac. A pill should fix me. So arrangements are made and you see a psychiatrist or therapist. Hopefully, the doctor understands that in this case, pills aren’t the answer. He sees it as a chance to examine your life and really help you to get better. So with trepidation and more than a few misgivings you begin psychotherapy.

To use poetic license and a time travelers magic, I’ll quickly move therapy right along. You shed your guilt, become aware of your rage, and your depression begins to lift. It’s like bursting out of a quicksand pool and finally being able to spread the wings you never knew you had.

You can leave your troubled family on the ground below as you discover a world filled with adventure and new ideas. They may remain locked in their rigid, unchangeable world, but that doesn’t mean that you’re duty bound to continue to share that world. You can try to help them, but they have to be willing. As you’ve learned, it’s not easy to examine life from a foreign vantage point. Your family may be too damaged to change. But you’re not. You’ll never be the same again!

Do you believe that childhood trauma can be overcome? What started your healing process? What happened to your family when you changed?

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