Tag: Art Smukler MD

CHASING OUR PAST… IS IT REALLY NECESSARY? by Art Smukler MD

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Raising Children, Self Examination

How long does it take for early trauma to stop torturing us? By torture, I mean symptoms of anxiety, depression, nightmares, obsessions, social phobias, a loveless marriage, workaholism etc. Bad things happened to many of us when we were young — abuse, devaluation by insensitive parents, medical problems, abandonment, alcoholic neglect…

We all hoped that as the years passed, the emotional pain and hurtful memories would just go away and leave us alone. Unfortunately, most of the time it didn’t happen. Like a homeless man pushing his shopping cart filled with fourth-hand treasures wrapped in plastic bags, we carried our emotional baggage wherever we went, the early trauma sitting inside us like a ripe abscess, interfering with our capacity to make good choices and be at peace.

One 60 year-old man’s long-standing depression began to lift only after he was able to express the rage he felt toward his long-dead father. A 40 year-old woman who was molested thirty years earlier, finally started to be more social and outgoing AFTER she tracked down and confronted her now 70-plus year-old molester.

Remembering the past doesn’t make it worse. It gives us the chance to deal with the early traumas and finally gain mastery over them.

Chase your past! Force yourself to remember and discuss the taboo issues that you’ve kept so carefully hidden. I believe it will be helpful.

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I AM IRONMAN! by Art Smukler MD

by artsmuklermd, posted in Psychiatry, Raising Children, World events, a psychological view

A few months ago, I was watching the Adventures of Ironman, with Dylan, the 3-year-old son of a friend. As we sat together in the dark family room, Dylan said, “Uncle Art, I like Ironman.”

“He is cool,” I answered.

A short time later, Dylan said, “I really like him.”

“Me too.”

After another series showing Ironman whipping the bad guys into submission, Dylan said, “I think I want to be him.” He sat riveted on the sofa, his eyes never leaving the TV screen.

“That would definitely be interesting.”

A minute later, Dylan got off the sofa and stood in front of me. “I am Ironman,” he said.

I nodded and smiled at him.

“You don’t understand, Uncle Art, “I AM IRONMAN. I really am.” His little chest was all puffed out and he was flexing both his arms, showing me how huge his biceps were.

“Sometimes I wish I could him too,” I answered.

A few weeks later when I saw Dylan again, he was all decked out wearing a Spiderman costume. “What happened to Ironman?” I asked.

“I’m Spiderman now. Watch!” He bent his legs, spread his arms, and assumed a perfect Spiderman pose. He WAS Spiderman, and I was stuck still being me.

Why do most kids develop a passion for superheroes? To me, the answer is pretty obvious. The world is a scary place. Really scary and really violent. The “mature” adults don’t believe in superheroes, they believe that their religion or religious sect or religious patron is more powerful than their competitors’ religion. They are willing to die for it, and see the rest of us non-believers or different-believers as the enemy.

If only we could choose to be Ironman or Spiderman or Everyman and give everyone the free choice to be whoever they want to be. Maybe, if I were Joe Belmont…